The Silent Screams

Posted on 14 Dec, 2022 in Simpler Life

To make better sense I suggest you to read the story (‘White and Black’) published before this one…
Now this story

He is busy in his daily tasks and as per the routine takes care of office calls, and does his job with his whole heart. He is in a relationship and they are just like any other couple. They have their fights, their romances, and their usual stuff. He loves her from her whole heart, completely unaware that she might be sharing her love with someone else too.

But he can sense little changes in her behavior like she was not giving him enough of her time, like that charm was missing like she was not interested in him anymore. The mere thought shakes him so he tries to avoid these thoughts as much as possible but glaring changes will ask him to return to questioning mode – has he done any mistake? What happened all of sudden? Why she does not speak to him as she used to- fully involved and creating new topics from one topic, where did that depth go and why? He was yearning for answers day in and day out! The saddest part was that he had no one to discuss this feeling with even if he had someone what has he got to say? Those were just the silent screams.

His clouded thoughts made him do things to please her, more attempts and then more attempts to show what they had and what it can turn into. There is a very subtle amount of balance needed in relationships when you are not a control freak and when you also do not let everything go. There is nothing like perfect relationships or successful relationships, one needs to MAKE it successful and perfect. Among the mantras for making a relationship successful one is about giving the right amount of freedom and space to your partner.

What will happen when he will cross paths with this truth? Will he be able to hold his demeanor or will he burst? When others will come to know about this will they feel pity for the boy and hate the girl?

Now that he fears the worse he was trying to bring the pieces together, trying to relive those old memories with her, desperately creating opportunities to be together as much as possible but he forgot that holding sand tightly will only make it fall. He was ready to accept and apologize without questions if he did something wrong, but she never presented and gave him a chance to understand what was wrong. Actually, there was nothing wrong yet from any of the sides, both were exploring. He explored where he went wrong, she explored the novelty she found. But there was no conclusion yet. But he felt like sinking.

Why relationship commitments are hard? One has to give full support to make it successful when one gets into a commitment just like an investor in a new venture would do. And just to clarify, commitment cannot be shared if one shares the commitment that’s not the true meaning of commitment.

It’s also true that one might feel getting stuck with the wrong person but there is no reason to justify cheating in commitments. If you are in doubt, get clarity and follow the process to come out of it but no one has the right to play with the emotions of others. One way to keep checking if you are doing right or wrong imagine yourself in other shoes.

Unable to figure it out and with the constant fear of losing her, he is not able to sleep, he waits for her to text back like she usually did, to discuss things they used to discuss, and he weeps silently. He became more alert and started asking her questions, about her day, about how she felt, about if there was something he can do for her. How much ever he did there were no timely responses but even there was no indication that something is ending. In a hope that things will get better between them I am ending this story with respectable Gulzar’s Shayari which reverberates well with the guy’s state right now waiting for her to reply:
“Raat ne fir runn jeet liya hai aaj ka din phir haar gaya hoon” (Night has won the fight again today, the day has lost again).

Take care of yourself and your loved ones.
Thanks for the read.
Keep Smiling!!!!