One Of My Family
Posted on 29 Sep, 2023 in Simpler Life
Why do I say one of my family? Family is a group of people who can stay together overcoming all odds, take decisions together, and consider others in the group. According to me one can have more than one family, a family of friends, a family at the office, a family at home, a family at another home (anything else you can think of). Each of these is a confined box with each having one of you. Mixing these boxes might be chaotic but treating them individually results in beautiful experiences and timelines memories.
Today, I will talk about a married family. This might give you some points which can be used to make any family strong and special.
Let’s accept that marriages are difficult. Not just for girls but for the boys’ side of the family too. More difficult for girls because they move to a completely new setup, new members around, new ways of doing things, new expectations etc. and something that can provide comfort are these new members themselves. One of the best ways to proceed with this piece is to take roles and talk one by one. Please share with me your experience or any additional inputs, I will be happy to edit and accommodate the reasonable points.
- Husband
- Father-in-law
- Sister-in-law
- Mother-in-law
- Wife
If you are a husband and reading this, your role in these types of families is supreme. You are on top, you are the puppet player, if I may say so. Because you are so critical you must bear and serve the responsibilities well enough to maintain the balance. The overall vibe of the house is under your control. In these types of setups, commanding respect and giving respect can make or break things and being a husband you play a pivotal role in ensuring that everyone gets their due respect to feel being taken care of.
If you are a father-in-law, one major thing you can do to smoothen the lives and to keep your younger ones blessed is accepting the newly wedded. Talking about both the boy and the girl, expecting and accepting that there will be changes in the family does it all. Getting this is a blessing and that’s why you can say that your acceptance of the new girl in your house is soothing beyond imagination for her, it is surely a difficult job but when done right it takes this family in a direction which is long lasting than any other.
If you are a sister-in-law, If you are a sister-in-law, you have a zillion small things to do, keeping moments light when there are heated discussions (there will always be), making everyone comfortable, being welcoming, sharing your opinion, acting like a sister and so many others. These might look like tiny tasks but hold capability to overhaul relationships. So in short sister-in-laws, I feel, can be the wonder women in the family.
Mother-in-laws are there to guide, pamper, protect the newly weds throughout. This is ideally how it should be accepted. Giving the required space to everyone, not just your ‘bahu’ does wonders and being a mother, mother-in-laws already know how to nurture so keeping to do the same creates respect for you in others mind.
If you are a wife, the foremost thing to do is to accept that you are in a new setup and things are bound to be different than you have been used to. Accepting this will shift your mindset and help you settle down well. Gradually you will start putting blocks at the right places. Do the right thing and never shy away from asking what you need/feel. Remember marriage should not take away your individuality rather it should help you grow in different areas and should teach you how to play different roles well.
Surely, when multiple roles come together conflicts are bound to happen and how much we read, watch or listen about how one should conduct oneself in these situations the real test is when they actually occur and you have the opportunity to respond. Freedom to respond is a choice through which you can change things in multiple ways. Web of these relationships are difficult to manage and teach us invaluable lessons so if you are struggling to hold everything together you are doing great because many can’t even have the thought of holding things together. So more power to one and everyone out there trying to play their roles.
Thanks for the read.
Keep Smiling!!
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